The blog formerly known as "Ich bin ein Londoner"

A stream of conciousness update

2007-05-13T22:38:00.000-05:00

So, I really don't think anybody reads this thing any more. Which is probably a good thing because I obviously don't write on here any more. However, it has been a while so here we go.

The semester is almost done. Did you just feel that wind blow? That was my sigh of relief. I am so very burned out and so very ready for summer to come along and say "hi". That is, except for the fact that I don't have a job yet.

This no job predicament seems to be the function of two things, 1) I really haven't had the mental energy to go chasing after internships and selling myself and 2) I really don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Now I guess the latter could actually be beneficial in the sense that I could really do anything this summer and not feel as if I wasted my time with something that won't be transferable to my post-graduation career. Along that line of reasoning perhaps I will persue a position selling red dogs at Fenway. 30 Red Sox games for free this summer? Man that beats being the understudy of a senior loan officer with a community development financial institution any day.

I am not completely worried yet though. My life seems to be a last minute kind of life. Everything is always last minute. Honestly, everything....I have some papers that I am supposed to be finishing up for tomorrow right now. Guess what? I'm not, I am writing on Blogger instead. Hah, take that on-time people (as I stick my thumbs in my ears and wiggle my fingers in a sign of derision). Anyways, the last minute things seems to be working okay so far. And it provides a certain level of comfort too.

I do have a place to live though. I will be back in the ol' "22", which is exciting. As long as I don't get my ass shot, that is. Just kidding it will be fine. I think.

So, job or no job, I will be back into Boston for the summer on June 30. Although, I am pretty bad at keeping in touch with people in general so that will probably be a surprise to friends that I have still living there. (Sidenote - "Hi Boston friends, sorry for not keeping in touch better I am moving back into town soon"-end of sidenote).

About those paper's that I am editing: I really should return to that.

I hope to report that I am gainfully employed soon, but in the interim please let me know if you have any leads on working with an agency that is doing good community development related things in the Boston area.

Peace.

My Genes Are Too Short

2007-03-20T21:34:00.000-05:00

So, I am a night owl...always have been. My dad is a night owl, my uncles are night owls, my brother is a night owl. The 9-5 world is not conducive to my ability to function.

Well, a couple of British researchers may have shed a bit of light on the issue. See story from a recent edition of the Economist below. Interesting....very interesting....

How well you can think at night may be determined by your genes

"THE idea that people might be chosen or rejected for jobs on the basis of their genes disturbs many. Such discrimination may, however, be a step closer, thanks to work just published in Current Biology by Derk-Jan Dijk and his colleagues at the University of Surrey, in England.
Dr Dijk studies the biology of time-keeping—in particular of the part of the internal body-clock that sends people to sleep and wakes them up. One of the genes involved in regulating this clock is known as PER3 and comes in two forms. Dr Dijk's work suggests that one of these forms is more conducive to night-shift work than the other.

The two forms of PER3 translate into two slightly different proteins, one of which is longer than the other. Previous work by this group showed that people with two short versions of the gene (one from each parent) are more likely to be “owls”, preferring to get up late and go to bed late. “Larks”—in other words, early risers, have two long versions.

Pursuing this line of enquiry, Dr Dijk and his team have been studying how such people respond to sleep deprivation. Two dozen volunteers, some genetic owls and some genetic larks, were forced to stay awake for two days.

The genetic larks reacted to this worse than the owls did. In particular, larks given memory tests and puzzles to solve between the hours of four and eight in the morning turned in far worse performances than did owls. Their brain waves, as measured by electroencephalography, also suggested that when they were eventually allowed to sleep, they slept more deeply than owls. (Deep sleep is associated with slow brain waves, and larks spent 50% more time in such slow-wave sleep than owls did.)

What implications that may have for employers is not fully clear. As the researchers point out, this was a laboratory study, not one that involved handling the problems of the real world. Nevertheless, it is intriguing. There may yet come a time when employers running night shifts will want a blood sample from prospective employees—if only to protect themselves against negligence suits should someone have an accident."

Girls = Evil

2007-02-25T23:57:00.000-05:00

I don't know if I believe that equality but it gave me a chuckle. See the derivation below...

Pandora

2007-02-22T00:34:00.002-05:00

Pandora

This is a great website that allows you to specify a band and will then play a random mixture of that bands songs and songs of other bands that share sonic similarities.

It is free and really fantastic.

Line 76 hasn't always been this depressing

2007-02-16T22:59:00.000-05:00

Tonight was not the best Friday night that I've ever had. Let's just call it "okay, I just really need to sit down and do my taxes" night. However, Larsen and Furious Jane made tax time just a little more enjoyable....and boppier, as I did the twist in my desk chair.

Do yourself a favor and stream their album "Tourist with a Typewriter" while doing your taxes, you may even thank the tax man for giving you the chance. In particular, try out tracks 1 and 10, they make the perfect bread for this audio sandwich.

My Snowy Valentine

2007-02-14T17:42:00.000-05:00

Ok, bad indie rock reference, but Amherst (along with the rest of the Northeast) got dumped with snow today. No sledding for me though:(

On a lighter note

2007-01-31T00:12:00.000-05:00

I have been listening to Death Cab for Cuties' song "Summer Skin" over and over and over and over....what a great song about the fading of summer love. Sigh.

Does anyone want to buy me the album?

http://www.amazon.com/Plans-Death-Cab-Cutie/dp/B000AADYRQ/sr=8-1/
qid=1170220495/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-7550706-6826267?ie=UTF8&s=music

Life is a good thing, don't you think?

2007-01-29T23:22:00.000-05:00

I almost died this past Saturday night.

I am serious, I was about 10 feet and a couple of seconds away from eternity. The story goes a little something like this.

I went to a concert with a friend on Saturday (see previous post) in a little town about an hour away. To get there we had to traverse some hilly roads in a back road type route. On the way back home, we were ascending one of these hills when I saw a large coach bus emerge over the top of the hill. It crossed my mind that it I wasn't that confident about the width of the road and it could be bad news if the bus crossed over the center line. This thought put me on the alert and just as my truck and the bus were about to safely cross paths two headlights emerge in my lane, directly in front of me....with a bus on my left. Well, that was unexpected.

30, 20, 10 feet away...I'm not much of a judge of distances but those headlights were close enough, and we were both going fast enough, that there was no time to think about what the best reaction would be. My best reaction was to swerve off the road. Thank God it wasn't a tree lined roadway or I would have just exchanged one head on collision for another. In fact, I actually whipped my vehicle into a pull off area of sorts so not only did me and my friend not have any physical injuries but I didn't have any damage to my truck.

The process was a fuzzy couple of seconds and I still can't put all the pieces of what happened together but it seems as if the car had tried to pass the bus as soon as the car in front of me was out of the way not realizing that I was following behind him.

In the moments following, we sat in the darkness of my truck and I couldn't stop saying thank you to God for sparing our lives. The other driver kept on his way but I hope that he was having the same conversation with his Creator that me and Bill were.

The car up ahead of us stopped to see if we were okay but I cut his journey back to my car short and let him know that we were fine. He then reassured me that the guy who ran me off the road was "an asshole". Now, I try not to make snap character judgements but I agreed with his assessment and we parted ways.

The ride home was filled with talk of how good God is, how short life is, and how important it is to live in the day and not always with thoughts of what tomorrow would bring. If the latter was punishable by jail, the judge would sentence me with 30 to life.

As I write this though, I am thinking that I was in such shock that I don't actually remember what conversations the ride home consisted of, but the points that I just listed were certainly spinning around in my head. And have been since then.

Prior to this episode, beginning with my Grandfather's passing this winter, I had been wrestling with our mortality, the shortness of life, and how much of life is wasted in meaningless humdrum. We freakin' sleep a third of our existences away, which I guess is important to ensure that the other 2/3 of our existence is well lived, but is just crazy to think about. Anyways, this run in with death certainly hammered those thoughts home.

Anyone who knows me is aware that a soapbox is not a piece of furniture that I enjoy spending much time on. However, I would like to go on the record as saying that the the fact that I could very easily be in the ground somewhere right now but am not reaffirms both the graciousness of God and the fact that there can be nothing more important to do while you are alive than to find out what you are alive for.

Life is not something that is to be selfishly consumed, passively endured or even idly wandered through. We are not here for ourselves, we are here for others. I think that Jesus modeled this very clearly.

Thanks to God for the life that he has given us.

Love and Peace, Chris

Tom Conlon Show

2007-01-26T12:19:00.000-05:00

If it is at all feasible for you to get to Barre, MA by 7:30 tomorrow night you should go to the the Tom Conlon show at 611 South Street (www.myspace.com/tomconlonmusic). He has been one of my favorite musicians for a couple years now and I promise that you won't be disappointed.

He will also be with a full band which should be cool because he usually does solo shows.

Anyways, let Mapquest be your guide and plan on being in Barre tomorrow evening.

Bloody Freezing

2007-01-26T12:15:00.000-05:00

It is 9 degrees today....freaking 9 degrees. That is -13 for all you non-fahrenheiters out there. Al Gore is an idiot.

The Spring (well, maybe post-fall) Semester

2007-01-22T21:07:00.000-05:00

I guess no one told the atmosphere that the SPRING semester is coming because the temperatures seem to be steadily decreasing as the semester gets closer. Academic terms are no respecters of climate though and the seemingly endless winter break is about to come to an end with the harried pace of next semester quickly emerging over the horizon in its dusty cloud.

I will be working on a couple pretty innovative projects next semester which are exciting to be a part of. One project is going to be conducting a feasibility study for the development of "limited equity housing" (specifically condominiums whose future sale price will be determined by a formula that ensures that they remain affordable) for a community development corporation in a poor city in the area. In addition to this formidable undertaking, there are a couple of other projects I will be spearheading for that CDC.

Another project will consist of working with a couple of policy students to draw up a business plan that will demonstrate the viability of an alternative transportation system for low-income residents of the city mentioned above. Despite its proximity to major transportation routes, the city is actually pretty geographically isolated, which we are trying to demonstrate poses a hindrance to the job and childcare options of residents who don't have private transportation. Once we have made it over those hurdles we can work on a model that will address the issue.

It looks like there might be a couple more projects coming down the pike as well....oh yeah, and the whole class thing too. I am pretty stoked about one class that I am taking called Family Policy and promises to spur me on to more spirited e-journaling than has become the norm for me in the past months.

Gotta learn some spanish too. Mi espanol es muy malo.

It should be a semester of learnings.

New Look

2007-01-15T04:06:00.000-05:00

I am so proud of my brand spanking new self-designed blog template....sloppy as the code may be.

Listen to Jim Wallis talk on this week's Democratic radio address

2006-12-02T14:00:00.000-05:00

To listen to Jim Wallis' of Sojourners on the weekly Democratic radio address click here

Data Miner

2006-12-01T20:41:00.000-05:00

When sorting through heaps of data trying to find particular numbers that mean something old Coldplay albims are a winner too...

Radiohead keeps me sane

2006-12-01T18:45:00.000-05:00

Man, I have been working my butt off for a couple of weeks now trying to complete a couple of papers that are due on Monday. They are getting there but as goes my modus operandi, it looks as if completion will run right up to the deadline.

Anyways, I have been on a Radiohead marathon this afternoon. Good stuff. I forgot what a great album Pablo Honey was. Kid A is coming up next in iTunes.

Dude, funny stuff

2006-11-29T23:44:00.000-05:00

I stumbled across these cartoonists from a friends site. Some really funny stuff ---- some can be a little offensive though so be warned.

Married to the Sea

Tooth Paste for Dinner

This American Life - Heresy

2006-11-25T14:46:00.000-05:00

If you are not already a dedicated "This American Life" listener, you need to be. The podcast is really handy to listen to on runs or hour drives.

Anyways, this past weeks edition was a little different in format than the typical show. It told the story of mid-west evangelical preacher Carlton Pearson who has decided that the literal hell doesn't actually exist and that God has extended the gift of heaven to all of His creation regardless of whether they recognize it or not. Take a listen, let me know your thoughts.

Nothing really new I suppose (the unitarian church was built on a bit more extreme version of his message) but it was challenging for me. I have been wrestling for a while now with the fact that a loving God wouldn't extend salvation to people who honestly recognize that they are created beings, that something has gone wrong in their relationship to their creator (because of what Christian's would call original sin) and in turn need their creator to save them.

You can access the MP3 for a couple more days from the following site or listen to the program streaming at any point. Click on the orange icon to download, click on the blue icon to stream.

http://www.thislife.org/pages/descriptions/05/304.html

fotos de mi casa

2006-11-17T23:19:00.000-05:00

that is probably very gramatically bad spanish.

tree in Holyoke

leaves

Scott chowing down

Viva la Francophone

2006-11-17T23:04:00.000-05:00

I have just decided that I want to move to France and marry a Perisian girl. Or anyone really who can sing in french like the girl on the radio just did. Wow.

Cookiejar Philosopher

2006-11-14T00:08:00.000-05:00

So today, as I was overindulging on Danish butter cookies, I was thinking about the idea of why we like things that arn't really even that good. Let me quickly interject that I have nothing against butter cookies and actually quite enjoy them with a cup of strong black coffee.

Actually, their flavor somehow reminded me of this particular British biscut that I believe I have loyalties to because of my exposure to them as a child. I had the biscut in question again when I was over in London and they are not very tasty at all, actually quite bland, but the distinctive taste brought a sort of comfort or something from childhood that somehow made them desirable.

So this is pretty much jibberish but I just thought it was interesting how we (I at least) enjoy things for reasons other than pure aesthetic qualities.

Question the old music that you listen to......

C

Analogy Vs. Metaphor

2006-11-01T21:28:00.000-05:00

I think that is actually a metaphor.

Analogy

2006-11-01T00:43:00.000-05:00

Economics is like bad heartburn....it keeps me up all night.

Music to Make Your Soul Leap

2006-10-27T14:41:00.001-05:00

I am reading through some very onerous stuff for work but am listening to wonderful music by Caspian and you should too. I saw them at this Anglican church on Beacon Hill a couple of years ago and they made me want to dance.

http://www.caspianmusic.net

Jottings from Western Massachusetts

2006-10-26T19:07:00.000-05:00

As I write this to you I am sitting in my freezing cold living room in Amherst, MA. Poor college student = can't afford heating bills = wear coats inside. Sorry it has been quite a while since I have last put up any thoughts or updates. My bad.

Well, the summer has come and gone, and with its exit came my final move for a little while, this time out to Amherst to start graduate school. After moving back from England I spent the summer at L'abri Fellowship. It was a really good time of being with people who are asking really tough questions of what Christianity is all about. Oh, and also just chillin' for a couple of months and developing my table sport skills. Although I have to admit that more than once I felt as if I was in some sort of grown up summer camp, it was a really well spent couple months.

School has been in session for about a month and a half now and I am really feeling the pressure. There truly is no end to how much time that I could spend studying so I need to learn to find balance. It doesn't help much that I set my proverbial bars quite high and that it has been tough to get back into the discipline of being an information sponge and synthesizer. Despite the stress, I am so happy to be here and really am so lucky to be free of commitments that would make it tough to dedicate myself to study and live on very little money. Although I don't want this to be a statement that I am still making 5 years from now, I must say that living at the poverty line is great. I realize that is much more easily said from the position of someone who is not providing for anyone else, has a supportive social network that would help with financial need, and already has access to assets like a reliable car, but as Puffy said (or perhaps it was 'Biggy') "Mo' money, mo problems". And I believe this is true.

I had a bit of a housing crisis when I first moved out here but ended up falling in with some really great fellas through a long string of people who knew people who knew people. It is a great house and I am excited to be living with these guys. I suspect that if anyone is spending time reading this incredibly banal abstract of my life you must know me personally in some respect. If that is the case, please know that our house is very large and you most certainly have a place to stay if you are ever in the Northeast.

I have recently had a devolution to a fifteen year old and have sucummbed to the peer pressure of hopping on the MySpace train....I believe I am what they call in marketing terms a "late adopter". http://www.myspace.com/notswallowedinthesea if you want to be "friends".

I will leave it there for now and promise to be ever so vigilant about keeping up to date.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

2006-06-03T12:25:00.000-05:00

Perhaps it is time to lay the blog to rest...or at least change the focus (and title) since I am no longer a Londoner but rather a Massachusen (sp?) again.

The United States opened her borders again for my return about three weeks ago. It is a good thing I am not Mexican, I may have been shot by National Gaurd Troops.

Home is a funny thing. I feel like I am at home now, if only in the geographical sense, since I am not actually in the city. Despite my increased appreciation for exploration and discovery, there certainly is something to be said for the familiar. A lot to be said I think.

I saw some friends in the city (Boston that is) this past week and was reminded how good friendship is and how nice it is to have a place where your feet feel comfortable. Where the faces of strangers don't look so unfamiliar because your common ground is your connection with the city and this feeling of home. Maybe we have spoken before, but more likely we have both ignored each other before as we wait to get home to the familiar things in our lives.

I will be starting two years of graduate study in a few months and while I am excited at the prospect of study and the opportunities ahead, the thing that really excites me is the ability to have a landing spot for more than, 8 months, 10 months, or a year at a time.

That is exciting. It is so nice to be home.

Chris

Less than 2 weeks!!

2006-05-01T14:28:00.000-05:00

Well folks, let the countdown begin!

I can't believe that I have been in London for almost 8 months now. Wow.

May 13 will mark my return Stateside (assuming I have a plane ticket by then because I haven't bought one yet). The homesickness hasn't gone away during the past months although, as I wrap things up here in London, my feelings on leaving are quite ambivalent despite the pain in the ass that living in the Community has been o' so often.

Yesterday, as I was doing streetwork, I met a couple that I have known for about a month or so. They are from Italy and are currently living in a squat although they will probably be forced out within a couple of months (for information on this crazy British thing called "squatting" see http://www.squat.freeserve.co.uk/story/). I have had a bit of a soft spot for them since we met, but as we talked my heart really began to go out to these folks. They are former heroin users who are both on a script right now and are trying to access benefits so they can get into legitimate housing and not have to beg to make money.

Then today, I met a young couple from the States. While we didn't get much of a chance to talk, I felt so saddened by their situation. As we talked I thought to myself, "What did you do to get yourself in this situation" and "Where is your family that will fly you back home and welcome you back into their home?". It is these folks that provide the balance to all the organizational and individuals frustions. However, it is also to these folks that I want to say, "yes, come into my house, you don't need to be on the streets anymore". And we can't do that.

It has definitly been a time of learning much about people and much about myself. When I think on the time that I have been here, I think that it is this learning that has proven to be the redeeming factor.

If I were to measure my time here in terms of effectiveness, I would certainly fall short of the goals that I had set for myself. However, I think that I learned so much about how I deal (and how I should deal) with difficult personalities, how to lead, how to resolve conflict, how to make sandwiches and coffee, yadda yadda yadda, that it was not wasted time.

It is certainly time to go though and I am ready.

Graduate school will start in the fall, but I will spend the interim months at L'abri Fellowship (www.labri.org) and afterwards hopping couches for a month or so before the begining of the semester. Perhaps your comfy couch (or floor, or basement, or shed) would be willing to open up its loving arms to accomodate me for a few days.

Can't wait for reunions, I miss y'all.

Chris

Night and Day

2006-04-03T18:35:00.000-05:00

The past two evenings have been like just that. Bright and sunny and dark and cold.

Dark and Cold
Yesterday evening there were a couple of guys staying over at the house because they were going to go on the tea run in the morning that leaves from my house. The atmosphere in the house had been pretty good, albeit quiet, all day. Soon after we had finished eating dinner an infamous community member stoped by the house and I knew that it would be no good.

As I expected, it did not take long for him to launch into a harsh invective about a decision that I had made. This particular person has amazing anger issues and can turn on somebody in a second. As we sat on the couch, and he barked into my ear, I was thinking how outrageous the conversation we were actually having was. I was trying to be as concilliatory as possible but I started to lose my cool. Eventually he told me to piss off, to which I replied that it was my house and he needed to piss off. Or I may have been a little more blunt.

Well, mid-arguement, one of the guys who is a resident at our other house and was planning on staying over to do the tea run just got up and left. He told me that he couldn't handle the animosity and was leaving. Shortly afterwards, the inflamitory guy did "piss off" and the guy who had left ended up coming back to the house. But not without choice words of his own. I believe that a little more background is in order here...

Our house has gained a reputation for itself through a mix of misconceptions and the reality of the prevailing attitudes and personalities of a couple of the folks that live here. Despite my efforts to squelch (and substantiate in cases where ideas are true), the rumormill has painted a picture of what Anton Street is like and these notions echo throughout the Community. There are too many issues to discuss here, some of which are valid concerns, but the ill-feelings (many of which extend beyond just my Project) have been so destructive to this Community. I struggle often with what exactly to do with this and admitedlly have no good ideas.

Returning to the story now....the envioronment had already been heated up by the behavior of the stormy fella that had pissed off by this point. The return, and subsequent lashing out, of the guy who had left in the midst of the argument, escalated the situation further and set off cofrontation galore. I can imagine how bad it would have been if the first guy had stuck around. I may have been made into a Chris sandwich while steping into the middle of a fist fight.

I went to bed, eventually, adrenaline pumping, teeth a bit clenched and the ringing of shouting voices bouncing around in my head.

Bad night.

Bright and Sunny
Today, we had a "The Weakest Link" themed quiz night hosted at our house instead of the regular video night that we usually have at our drop-in center on Monday and Fridays. As is usual practice for Video Nights, we brought a bunch of guys back with us from the Street Cafe that we run on Monday evenings. It was so good. Save for a few stupid issues, the atmosphere was great and everyone had a really good time. I am so appreciative to one of the guys in my house for spending all afternoon cooking a buffet for the evening.

It was great to be able to have guys who are rough sleeping aound the house and show hospitality to them. The concept of hospitality is is one of the big ticket issues in the Community right now and we catch a lot of flack for it. Some of which may be deserved but the majority of which I think is unwarrented. Granted, pretty much everyone that came tonight were not stereotypical homeless guys that you would think about. Many of the guys are quite conversational, well-spoken, etc. etc. It does make it easier to have an event of that nature when everyone participating is able to more or less participate.

Good night.

I just thought it was amazing the difference that 24 hours can make. I think that there is an optimal size for small group interaction (probably no more than 15) but it is always better to have more people than less because it takes the pressure off of individuals to "be on". It also allows for more voices to be heard which is always good in my book. Much harder to adopt a ganging up mentality.

Well, now I am just philosophizin' Enough of that.

A few of my Favorites

2006-03-26T06:33:00.000-05:00

In reverse chronological order that is because Blogger is funny like that. I have got about 500 more where these came from:)

More pictures from my time in Rome at are my traveling buddy's photo album:

http://photobucket.com/albums/b52/jdearing/

Rome-ing around

2006-03-18T18:08:00.000-05:00

So, I have just spent the past couple of weeks in Paris and Rome. I think that the travel bug has seriously got me. Why did no one tell me about this amazing continent of Europe earlier?

I just got back in from Rome this afternoon and am ready to head out to do more exploring already. I had a couple weeks to play with but I wanted to have the chance to get a feel for the places I was going to visit so I had to give a couple cities the axe, namely Amsterdam and Dublin although I am hoping to hit Ireland before I leave the area. It is so much easier to travel when your flight to Paris is 45 minutes and to Rome is 2.5 hours rather than coming all the way from the States. So much cheaper too.

Speaking of returning Stateside, it looks as if that is most likly going to happen in early to mid May. Really not that far away. Coming back for the summer will give me the opportunity to either earn a little cash before school begins in the fall or persue a couple of ideas that are floating around in my head right now. The latter would kill my savings rather than build it up but I think that it could really be worth it.

Things with work are at an interesting junction right now with a new director having come on board at the begining of February. He is a young guy and definitly passionate about the community so that is a good starting point. He has a tough job ahead of him though because there are a lot of tough decisions that are going to need to be made that arn't going to be particularly popular. I guess that is one role of a leader though.

One of these decisions relates to the future of our house. In the past few months, out landlord has made it clear that they do not want to be associated with us anymore because we don't fit into their model of the housing that they operate. In truth, they are just a housing association and so arn't particularly concerned about anything relating to community or homelessness, they just want to rent houses. Fair enough. They have given us the option to purchase but there is no way that we would be able to raise the capital for that and obviously don't have a definite future cash flow since we rely totally on private and institutional donations. It looks like what is going to happen is that we will end up moving residence over to where our offices currently are, since they operate out of a house, and move the offices elsewhere. This transition probably won't happen until the fall though because late October is the deadline for moving out of our current residence.

This whole subject just underlines the fact that there are guys living in that project that, if they are forced out, will become homeless again. I have learned a lot of things while being here and one of those is how hard it is to have discussions about people's personal circumstances while you are living with them. I mean, it is not like you can have a professional relationship and then disengage at the end of the day, it doesn't work that way. While the act of living together can be a really good thing when it comes to providing accountability, it can be really tough when you are talking about issues around moving on from their status quo....especially when there isn't already an underlying friendship. Whether that means talking about anger issues, drinking problems, or just general things that need to be done to sort issues out and move on from the Community, those can be difficult subjects to breach when you fall somewhere in between a friend and a professional.

Reading back through this post I feel like I have been all over the place. I have some great pictures to share of the last couple of weeks that will be sure to arouse jealousy in the best of you but will have to post them some other time as they are still on my camera.

Lord, I was born a ramblin' man.

Ciao, Chris

Soho

2006-02-25T22:04:00.000-05:00

Soho....the name brings to mind all things unholy and impure in London. Tucked in between Piccadilly Circus, Chinatown and Oxford Street, Soho is the center of the sex and gay scene in the city (as well as having some really good clubs apparently). Along with its offerings comes its clientele, earning the area a reputation of being a rough spot sometimes.

I did streetwork down there tonight but was probably out a little too early as the place was still hoping as me and my streetwork partner for the evening, Sophie, parted ways at 2:00. We met a few folks but most of them were probably in hostels and just out begging.

Why does it seem like people with mental health problems or addictions always have some sort of spirituality intertwined with their life? Me and Soph were talking with this fella tonight who was super- pissed (that is drunk for all you non-british speakers) and as we were leaving the conversation he began to talk of the coincidence that we are with the Simon Community and he has an angel named Simon that looks after him. Or something like that. I don't know.

This past week I was up in Wales again at the wife of the Community's founder's house. (Hmmm....those double possessives are always tough to write grammatically correct) It was nice to get outside of the city and have a couple of days to hang out with all the workers in the Community. That is the first time since I have been here that we have all had the chance to hang out without worrying about community issues. Yeah, it was good.

One of the big discussions (yelling matches, whatever you want to call them) that have been happening in the house lately has been about the issue of "hospitality". I say that this has been happening lately but really it has been an ongoing conversation (yelling match, whatever you want to call it) since I have been here. The dreaded h-word has always been a distinctive part of what the community is about. A natural growth from the founder's Christian roots, hospitality was intended to be offered as an outpouring of Christ's love. The problem comes with where you draw the line. Some people in the house hold their space very closely and, while they are caring enough on the outside, may not be willing to have the sort of open door policy that I envision as being true at the Community's inception. I am not advocating a sort of unthoughtful, sloppy, anything-goes policy which would slowly turn the house into a hotspot for local dealers, but rather operating a home that always has a few more spots at the dinner table and is willing to give everyone a chance, or two, or three.

I know that there are plenty of problems that come along with this, whether that be the vulnerability of some individuals in the household, or the fact that there are not always workers in the house, but those can be overcome. The big issue is getting people to not think of the house or things as theirs, but as the Community's. Much easier to write than actually to live though because I know that I can be found guilty of thinking that way too.

Much to chew on, especially in thinking about how I would use my personal home and how tightly I hold on to my possessions.

Much to chew on, yes, but tonight I am too tired to be hungry.

Nite.

Is that a chip on your shoulder?....No, just an artisan faccassio loaf

2006-02-09T17:44:00.000-05:00

Hello all.

I just came back in from hauling a trashcan bag full of bread around Stoke Newington.

Recently we got this really great connection with an organic, granola-y, expensive goat's cheese place up in Stoke Newington which is about a 15 minute walk away from the house. We had been doing pick up's on weekends but I went up tonight and they gave me a sack o' grainy goodness. Now, if we can only find a place that donates sushi:)

Either life has been hovering around normality lately or I have begun to change. I think probably a little bit of both. I'll tell you, one thing this job has taught me is how to stand my ground while trying to appease people. This is really not always the best thing, but Robert reckons that I have a career in diplomacy. I think that I shall be the next American diplomat to um....somewhere in the Caribbean or South Pacific, it has been bloody cold here and I can't wait for the gentle nudge of Spring to dethrone the all-too-long reign of Winter.

I have never considered myself a people pleaser but I am learning a lot about how I operate and I struggle with wether I am a people pleaser or a peacemaker....and where the line is. Much to unpack and I know that writing is one way that I do that so I really should more often.

As always, I really don't have much of substance to say. Actually, the more accurate thing to say would probably be that I don't feel like expending the energy that it would take to tell stories without breaking anyone's confidentiality.

Outside of work, I am heading up to Wales again at the end of this month with the worker group from the community and then (hopefully, hopefully!) to Paris and Rome with my bro and a buddy respectivly. It should be a really nice time in Wales because we will be heading again to the founder's wife's house to just chill but also to be together as a group of workers and think more about what it means to be a community and get further insight into how the community has historically operated.

Thought of the day:
When shaving a girls head to form a mohawk please remember to be gentle with the clippers so as to not stab her and cause scalpal bleeding.

Bringing bread to all the good little boys and girls in East London, Chris

The Beauty of St Paul’s and Old Academic Towns

2006-01-28T18:38:00.000-05:00

I began writing this a week or so ago but decided to keep it in the present tense …

As I sit writing this I am at the house of an elderly ex-resident that we look after as a house. His flat was broken into on New Years day and the door has still not been fixed so we have been keeping vigils at his house overnight. Thankfully, he just lives across the park from us so it isn’t quite as inconveniencing as it could be. We are watching Man U play Liverpool and Chelsea play Cheltenham on the tele. I think that I could like soccer if I watched it more often.

Yesterday, I serendipitously ended up down at St. Paul’s cathedral just as they were beginning an evensong so I decided to check it out. Sitting underneath the massive dome, I was enveloped in the choral reverberations. It was a beautiful service in a breathtaking church. I think that I will have to go down there more often.

Things in the community have been going pretty well lately. We are starting to become more of a well-oiled machine as a house and I feel as if we are beginning to make progress in some of the issues that our residents are working through both personally and in their relationships with each other. One of the ways that I get self-worth is through completing a job well. I find much satisfaction in seeing a plan come to completion or having an end product that I made or made happen. I need this completion to feel like I am being effective and suspect that this will always be one of my frustrations with the world of social work.

I have also had more of a chance to get involved with folks who use our drop-in center on a regular basis. That has been nice but tough as well because there always seems to be power struggles between certain individuals who have become entrenched in their way of how they view the center should be run and what their roles are. My gut reaction is usually to say something like, “Well, if you don’t like it just leave then....you’re not indispensable you know.” That is just ignoring the issue I think though. The real issue comes in the fact that these folks see things in black and white and not in gray. Gray is tough to deal with….I don’t like gray, it is too ambiguous, too undefined.

Skipping ahead to right now, this very second:

I will be going on the tea run in about 6 hours so I should really go to bed soon I think.

I went up to Cambridge to see a friend this past week and then we travelled down to Oxford for a day. It was so nice to hang with a friend from home and both of the cities are beautiful so it was a really good couple of days.

I got the same feeling walking through the courtyards of King’s College that I always would get when walking through the yard at Harvard. I think it is a sense that important things are happening around you. People who are going to make a large impact on the world are studying just beyond those ancient walls. In the case of Oxford and Cambridge it was compounded by the history that the universities are steeped in. Oxford and Cambridge were founded in the 12 and 13th centuries respectively and have such a rich history of people who went on to shape the way the world thinks about itself. Think John Locke, Charles Darwin, and Erasmus.

More blabberings to come. Hopefully sooner rather than later. :) I am tired now and my bed situated next to a radiator and a window with a draft is calling me by name. You can't beat the combination of an overactive radiator and the sometimes bitterly cold wind slipping under my window frame. It's great.

Peace, Chris

The New Year

2006-01-03T18:59:00.000-05:00

2006?! Is it just me or does that seem like we are talking about the distant future instead of what it already two days in the past?

As tends to be my modus operandi, I spent the eve being late (yes folks, late) for meeting people while wandering down a road in central London with Gilly. When we finally caught up with them we had a happy 7 minutes past the new year celebration and watched the flashes of light that emanated from behind large buildings reminding us that we were missing the firework display down on the Thames.

Steping back a few days.....For Boxing Day (go ahead, ask me what Boxing day is, I can tell you) we had an open house of sorts and me and one of my housemates went out that morning to do streetwork and drum up business. We talked a bit with a couple of the regular fellas that sleep out on the stoops of a local church but beyond that only saw one guy. One of the guys that sleeps out at the church stopped by during the afternoon, which was great, but I always feel awkward when we have folks without accommodation come to the house because at the end of the night I have got a bed and they don't. This has actually been one of the hardest things for me to deal with in the Community because we have contact with a lot of people that are living on the streets and inevitably there are times when you part company to go home and they are already home.

A lot of folks, especially from central London, were indoors over the Christmas season at an annual event sponsored by an organization named Crisis. As a side note, apparently they provide a fantastic service, but I can't imagine that they could have chosen a worse or more demeaning name for themselves.....why not just call the organization, "Okay, let's point out the fact that I am homeless". I just think that it is a horrible name . This seems to happen all the time in the social service world. We (that is a general "we") cater to people's sense of charity through designing our promotional materials to reflect a glossy poor. I dare say that we cheapen the reality of poverty through our efforts to tap pocketbooks. Ah, but government funding cuts are inevitable so we have to diversify our funding sources..... Anyways, this is completely tangential but is something that I struggle with.

It was a good Christmas here at the house and I am glad that if I couldn't be with family or friends I could be with these folks. I don't want to flatter myself but I felt that it was important to be here over the holidays because that can be a very tough time for some folks. Even though we aren't family (and could never even pretend to be) I thought that it was important to recreate a family atmosphere as much as possible. This turned out pretty nicely for the most part as we had tree from central Wales, did a secret santa type deal, and had a gargantuan meal which was feasted on for days to come. It was nice to have a full (capacity and stomachs), happy household.

So that was the quick and dirty on the Christmas season. And that is kind of what it was, quick and dirty. It just seemed like a very hectic time but all things considered I think we did alright.

A friend from Boston said in an email a while back that I should make the focus of my next post, "things I've learned and light bulbs that have gone off in my head since I've been in London". This is quite a request to fill and I don't think that I will have a full grasp of all the things that I've learned until I step away, but as I write this I have just had a really good person to person conversation with one of the residents in my house. There is something about this specific person that can really single out the reality of a situation and put it into unexpected words. Gosh that sounds vague, but there is something very simplistic and childlike that reaches out and grabs me every once and again when we have a conversation. Please don't read this as condescending but I am often times reminded of how God promises to use the foolish things to shame the wise and use the weak to lead the strong.

Admist the frustration and mental exhaustion there are really good things and many lessons to be learned. Maybe I should start writing them down.

A Wale of a time

2005-12-19T17:40:00.000-05:00

Okay, that is it for cheesy play on words. It was a nice weekend though.

I almost made it the entire weekend without talking about Simon Community stuff. Didn't quite happen though because I went with a load of folks that are involved in the Community either as residents or long time volunteers. Complaining was inevitable.

It was great to get outside of the city though. The estate that we stayed on was, well, amazing. Yes, I think that that is an accurate descriptor. It was so good to just get away and walk in the hills for hours. So so nice.

Here's some pictures.

Walking in the Welsh hills

Sheep

Mansion that I slept in

I love these next three pictures of a tree in their front yard

Welsh speak

blah blah blah alcohol

And some pictures from Guy Fox day as well....it is the day when the Brits celebrate burning a fella at the stake for treason.

Not that there is anything wrong with dolphins....

2005-12-15T21:41:00.000-05:00

...but I am going to Wales.

I just got back in from a Community "fundraising" party in Stratford. It is kind of funny to hang in a pub with various folks from across the community spectrum (some of which may or may not be alcoholics), but it was a pretty nice evening anyways.

So yeah, I am going to central Wales to chill at the house of the wife of the founder of the Community tommorow. We are leaving early, early tommorow morning and it is already early, early tommorow morning so I am going to be knackered. It should be a good weekend. I'll take pictures for ya'll.

Peace.

Sans Fransisco

2005-12-10T13:27:00.000-05:00

This post seems ancient history now as I began it almost a month ago but it is a story worth sharing I think.... cjs

It was a bit sad to see him go, but we had to do it.

If I remember correctly, when I had first met Fransisco at our Wednsday Street Cafe, we had hit it off pretty well. That had been about a month earlier and since then I had been looking for opportunities to offer him a spot in the short term stay bed at Simon House in Harlesden. We had agreed to meet at a soup run to work out the plan but he did not show up. I did not see him for a week or two and then one monday evening he appeared at my house for our monthly quiz night. I was running out the door and again we were unable to decide when he could move in to the short term bed.

The next week passed without sign of Fransisco, but the following Wednsday I decided to go to Street Cafe in hopes of seeing him there. As I waited for him to show, another worker in the Community asked me if I had seen Fransisco yet because she had come all the way from Simon House to meet him and escort him back. I had not yet seen him, but we then waited together. As we were getting ready to leave for the day, Fransisco arrived and we decided that I would accompany him back to the House and help him get settled in.

On the way back he must have thanked me 100, no 300, times for letting him stay in the house. I dismissed his behavior as nervousness, thankfulness, and just wierdness, but it started to become more erratic once we arrived at our destination. In response to my request that we complete some introductory paperwork he insisted that he really needed to go out for 20 minutes to get a burger and when he returned we could do as much paperwork as I wanted. I ensured him that dinner would be ready before long but there was to be no compromise and, despite my wariness, I didn't see a valid reason why I shouldn't let him leave the house.

When he returned almost an hour and a half later from his 20 minute trip, he was drenched and his rating on the erratic behavior-o-meter had jumped. I asked if it was raining outside to which he responsed that it was sweat and then related a tale of having his burger stolen while he was in the bathroom and how he could have, "KILLED SOMEONE". Throughout this monolouge he is unable to sit down and just paces around the room fuming as we all look on.

Mr. Contingency that I am, my head is telling me at this point, "hmm, have you ever killed someone Fransisco?" while placing a nearby cardboard cutting knife subtly in my pocket. Obviously this fella is using something, which is bad enough, but now I am wondering what sort of violent history he might have as well.

The next two or three hours consisted of the dinner eating, paperwork doing and laundry washing marathon, throughout which he continued his erratic behavior which, at various points, crossed into an almost violent sarcasm which he would unnervingly laugh off. My plan at this point was to keep a close watch, get him to sleep off whatever he was on, and deal with his behavior when he had come down. This would not be the case.

After putting his laundry in the washer, he decided that he was going to take a shower and go to bed. As he entered the bathroom like a trash can Santa Claus with his sack of goodies that he had emptied from his backpack, I thought about suggesting that he leave the bag behind. It was in the light of his already aggressive behavior, though, that I decided that it would be best to not escalate the situation more than necessary.

10 or 15 minutes pass and we are discussing what action to take as house workers when sounds of human flesh being slapped, and what I can only describe as animal-type noises, begin to come to the forefront. Fransisco is slapping himself silly and making very odd, loud noises in our bathroom.

Minutes pass and he continues this behavior. One of the house workers decides to take the initiative to confront him about his behavior and frame it as concern for his safety....which I guess it genuinly was. After repeated requests for him to come to the door, Fransisco finally opens the door and the dialouge begins. (Note about previously mentioned worker: he is very reserved, doesn't say much, and has an uncanny way of staring right through you)

After question and answer time in the bathroom doorway, Fransisco begins to get agitated and, intermingled with various explitives, asks the house worker why he is looking at him like that and states that he feels like the worker is in control of the situation. I have been observing this whole interaction and am actually thinking that I am going to have to physically try to remove this large gentleman from this worker's throat.

The tension passes and Fransisco returns to his bathroom escapades. We reconvene as a worker group and decide that his behavior is probably more than we can handle. By this point he has become completely unresponsive.

I will abridge here a bit, but eventually we ended up calling in the cops and the ambulance team and they eventually ended up kicking in the door and Fransisco eventually ended up admitting that he was smoking heroin and popping morphine pills to try to kill himself.

There was nothing that the police could do because he had no desire to go to the hospital and they couldn't forcibly make him leave the house because he technically had the rights of a tenant. They did however coax him out of the house and left him on our front door step.

So, what happened next is the cool part.....

Me and a couple guys go outside to talk with him. I explain that I am sorry that things turned out this way but he had agreed to not consume drugs in the house and he did so we had to enforce the rules. I guess what I really wanted him to understand was that even though it had been a bad night, it didn't mean that I, or any of us, cared about him any less.

Well, I guess we had connected pretty well, because he asked the other guys to leave so we could talk alone. Although he was still pretty doped up, we talked of family, life, drugs, suicide and God. I have promised myself that although I cannot separate my faith from my actions, I will not make my love contingent on someone's desire to hear about my beliefs At this point in the evening though, we had already had a conversation on the way over to the house about Christianity and he had breached the subject so I gave myself permission to talk. And talk we did.

So that night he ended up dumping the rest of his morphine pills down the storm drain and we ended up praying together on the steps.

I have not seen Fransisco since then but I am sure that he is around and am sure that we will run into each other at some point. I am looking forward to seeing him again.

Hallellujah....I kicked some ass

2005-12-06T16:18:00.000-05:00

Hmmm....I hope that isn't too sacreligious. I did though.

I was doing the math in my head the entire way home on the bus just to make sure that I was adding the two numbers together correctly.

Months of studying vocabulary, mathematical formulas, and geometric shapes, culminated today in hours spent answering multiple choice questions and writing essays on political leadership. And it was good. Much better than I had even wanted to do.

The funny thing is that, save for a couple questions, I don't know how helpful my months of studying actually was. There were only a few questions where I said to myself, "Self, you know this because you studied it". Had I not been so pleased with my scores, I would probobaly feel as if I had wasted hours upon hours sitting in comfy chairs in various coffee shops.

Next step: applying to schools. I have narrowed down my selection to a handful of programs and the application process must now begin.

It is so nice to have this burden off of my back. I literally feel lighter and mentally am looking forward to being able to engage more fully with the house and the community. I am supposed to be the project leader here but I feel as if I have just been getting by for the past month or so. I really have a problem with needing to pour myself into things so hopefully I will be able to replace my need for studying with a need for community life.

Okay, so from here on out I am making an effort to give more of a window into my community life.

GRE

2005-12-05T06:54:00.000-05:00

I feel as if I have been quite derilict in my blogging duties as of late. My time has been consumed with working and studying, so blogging has been temporarily moved to the back burner. I have plenty of stories to come though.

Tommorow I take the GRE and I am uber-stressed. I have been studying for months when I get the chance but I am afraid that I am going to get to the testing center and have an information dump. I am afraid that I am going to see words like superflous and intransigent and know that I know them but don't know what they mean. I am afraid that I am going to be given the fact that a circle is inscribed in a square with the side of 4 but not be able to figure out what the circumference of the circle is.

I feel as if any potential future in academia is hanging in the balance of this 4 hour tourture by multiple choice.

I am spending today tying up loose ends on my knowledge string before it all goes down tommorow. I never intended for this blog to become my personal prayer post but please be praying that I can recall what I have been pouring over for months now. The test is from 12:30 - 4:30 tommorow.

Thanks yall. Peace.

Talking in Metaphors and Cliches

2005-11-17T20:20:00.000-05:00

I hate small talk.

I always feel like I am being a fake when I shoot the bull with people. I know that it is a necessary evil (ahhhh, there you go...cliche) but when I meet people while I am out doing streetwork it seems like I always end up responding to their epic (or not so epic, really) tales with cliche, banal commentary, engaging in metaphorical exchange whereby we talk of crossing thin lines and going cold turkey, or fueling the discussion of delusional manifestos.

What to do, what to do? People need to talk. People need to be listened to....for real listened to. People need to listen. I guess we have two ears and one mouth for a reason.....oh, how cliche.

Pray for Fransisco

2005-11-09T19:48:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone,
I will write more specifics later but please be praying for Fransisco. He was on a short term stay at Simon House tonight and we had to ask him to leave. Police involvement and whatnot.

I refered him into the house and we really connected. In the process of necessarily kicking him out tonight, me and him talked for a while and prayed together. It was good, so good.

Please pray that the Lord would reveal Himself to Fransisco, that he would feel loved, that he would begin to experience healing both in addiction and emotionally, and that we (that I) would continue to be a part of his life.

Thanks guys!

A Stroll and a Fella Named Rodney

2005-11-03T22:26:00.000-05:00

Today was my off day for the week and I was in the mood to take some pictures. I ended up down on the south side of the river along this great pathway that hugs the bank for a long while and is a sweet place to take a stroll. During my stroll I met a guy named Rodney who was playing the saxophone. I told him that I didn't have any money but wondered if I could take some pictures of him playing. He obliged and we talked for a while about America and England before the conversation turned to Coltraine, Monk, Robert Johnson, John Lee Hooker, Sevie Ray and the like. I am going to check out his band the next time that they gig out.

I you could see through my eyes you would have seen this tonight...

St. Paul's Cathederal from the south side of the Thames

The path that winds along the Thames...beautiful, truly (this picture was taken in a very dark area without a flash, if you look closely you can see these great ghostly looking figures in the middle)

The London Eye, a big expensive ferris wheel type thingy, built for the millenium celebration, that is supposed to give amazing views of the city

The Houses of Parliment and Big Ben from across the River (I love how the water looks)

The inimitable OXO tower named after none other than a beef bullion cube

Despite the fact that I can't remember what this bridge is called and the picture is blurry because I don't have a tripod, I really like this one because I kind of got the foreground vs. background thing right...it's all in the f-stop (that is a photography term, not a obscene comment)

Rodney

Rock on...

Dude is so fast he's a blur

25 or 6 to 4

2005-11-01T23:50:00.000-05:00

It is now into the wee hours of the night and I am reminded of a fantastic song by the group Chicago. Tonight is the last in a string of three night shifts that I have done at Simon House and I am ready to get back on a regular sleep schedule.

Nightshifts are great in the sense that I am able to get some studying done for the GRE, catch up on emails, and work on graduate school applications, but they also mean that I end up sleeping half of the next day or not sleeping enough and being in a haze. In addition, I have been reminded from my college cramming-the-night-before-an-exam days that the brain begins to slow down when it is tired and its ability to process information is severely diminished. I would guess that a couple hours of studying at 2 in the morning (which doesn’t really happen anyways) is roughly equal to a good 30 minutes of studying at 6 in the evening while doped up on caffeine. Yet another downside to the nightshift is that Simon House is at least a 45 minute trip from Anton Street so the commute adds up to a good chunk of time as well.

If I was one of those changeable mood magnets on a refrigerator, my mood would currently be: “FRUSTRATED”. There are so many good things and so many bad things about this community and as is the case with bad things, they have a way of standing out above the good.

I feel as if the past few weeks have been really busy for me and, while I guess they have been, I don’t feel as if I have accomplished much. We have been able to hold down the fort at Anton Street in Isabel’s absence and I have learned logistical things along the way so that is good I suppose.

If there is one human emotion that has screamed at me (literally in some cases) since I have arrived it is anger, with a capital “grrrrrr”. People are just so angry…..chill out people, chill. People are angry about being in the kitchen when they are making soup, people are angry about you eating a knifeful of Peanut Butter when you haven’t eaten all day, people are angry about other people’s lifestyle decisions, and people are very, very angry when they don’t get things their way. Especially when someone else gets their way. Chill people….chill.

The next month is going to be crunch time with respect to finishing my GRE preparation and finalizing graduate school applications. This, coupled with increased responsibility in the Community, is going to make for a STRESSFUL next month or month and half.

Please continue to be in prayer that….
-Anton Street would grow and that as we grow we will be able to develop a sense of community within the household.
- I would be able to lead in general, but specifically that I would be able to exhibit a “cooperative leadership” approach that I think has got to be necessary in a democratic community
- I would be able to effectively segment my time between my life in the community and my preparation for graduate school. A social life of some kind might be nice too:)
-That there would be peace among the Community at large and that we would begin to work together and not against each other. That would be a miracle….I’ll let you know when it happens:)

Much love to y’all, Chris

Somebody has got the Muundays...

2005-10-24T08:28:00.000-05:00

That was my attempt at a token Office Space quote. Actually, I don't have a case of the Mondays but it is a pretty dreary day.

I am sitting at the computer listening to the Postal Service because Gilly took Viola to the library earlier to get a library card and she borrowed this album for me. I love this album. What great rainy day music.

This past week was kind of nuts, kind of a blur. Everyday was cosumed with activites and even my "off" day wasn't completly an off day. Much of this stress on my part is directly attributable to the fact that the girl who is currently the unofficial Project Leader went on vacation for three weeks. I meant to connect with her for some sort of handover cerimony including the burning of incense and the releasing of 13 doves, but we missed each other for a few days and then she was gone. In the words of Joni Mitchell, "you don't know what you've got till' it's gone". We had never officially talked about procedural issues so I was left to my own to figure out how to run the house and many other things.

This has been a blessing and a curse. A blessing in the sense that I am not officially the Project Leader for the house yet so this gives me a chance to assert and prove myself before it is made public. A curse in the sense that it turned out to be a particularly busy week and one of the residents in particular was quick to point out that he felt myself and Gilly were neglecting the house and our responsibilities because we were never around. I don't think that he has a valid point but can understand his sentiments and have tried to affirm him in that.

As a part of our community processes we have daily "breakfast meetings" that serve as debriefing sessions and allow folks to communicate about issues. Because of last week's schedule we did not have any meetings (which just compouded the problem I believe), but I knew it was necessary to implement them again begining today. Since there had already been discussion about last week's shortcomings, the meeting wasn't particularly contentious and I think that we are all on roughly the same page. Me and Gilly tried to assert our desire to be residents in the house and I think that we are ready to move forward.

We have a new worker coming into the house tommorow named Vikki. I don't know anything about her and neither does anyone else. As much as I appreciate this community and love the model, the inefficiency can make me laugh sometimes. If you are keeping score that now makes 3 workers (4 if you include Isabell who will be on vacation for a few weeks and probably moving on a few months afterwards), 2 residents, and 1 resident that is currently living in Simon House who will probably be joining us in the coming weeks. I suspect that we have the capacity for 10-12 people in the house and I think that the optimum ratio would be about 6-8 residents and 4 workers. I have read somewhere that the maximum size for small-groups to function effectively is around 10 people. Much more than that and people begin to become passive. I suspect that this relates more to meetings that are conducted with small groups, but I think that it has implications for community as well. I think that it is fascinating that Jesus had 12 disciples....Jesus, a genius when it came to small group dynamics.

Cheers, Chris

A Canterbury Tale

2005-10-18T19:08:00.000-05:00

Okay, well I didn't actually hang out in Canterbury today, but I did drive through it and saw the wall that surrounded the old city. Today, I went on visitation to see a fella who had been part of the community for years and is now living down towards the coast in an assisted living place.

Me and three other guys piled into the minibus (which seats 17 by the way and probably gets 2 miles to the liter so it was a bit silly for us four to take) and headed down to Margate which is on the British Channel. I could almost hock a lugey (sp?) to France.

I was nice to be out of the city for the first time since I have been here, but hanging out with three fellas whos combined age is actually longer than the exsistance of the United States can be a bit taxing.

"Blind Bill", as he is called by his dearest of friends, was the visitee today and I knew that it was going to be an interesting afternoon when we walked into his room at the house that he is living in and he was completly unziped and peeing into a urine container of some sort. No shame. I guess if he can't see us, then we can't see him.

After the obligatory jiggle, we were off to the seaside.

The afternoon consisted of myself and Martin (a Catholic Priest who likes to cuss a fair bit) pushing two wheelchairs around while "Little Richard" struggled to keep up with our maniac pace of 1 sidewalk block per minute. We found a chip shop and I had my first taste of true British Fish and Chips smothered in malt vinegar...."Little Richard" had ice cream and "Blind Bill" stole sugar packets.

I am actually not being fair because it actually wasn't that bad but when you get three old men together for an afternoon and half of their 5 senses don't work correctly it can be a bit tiring. I hate to see older folks being forgotten about though so it was worth it so that Bill knew that people cared enough to drive a few hours to visit him. The free fish and chips were just an extra.

I am still keeping busy doing outreach work, shifts at Simon House and just generally trying to establish myself in the Community. For better or for worse, this may come quicker than I had expected because my boss asked me last week if I would take on the Project Leader position for the house that I am living in. I am excited about that, but I think that in the job description it should mention something about being complained about by people who don't react well to change. The Simon Community is in a very interesting transition point right now as we are moving from an entirely volunteer run organization to one that employs professional management while still heavily utilizing volunteers. I think that this shift is a great thing for so many reasons, but there are a lot of people who are very vocal and opinionated about how the Community has "changed" from what it used to be. Power struggles galore....let me jump into the fray.

Please be in prayer that I would have the ability to be diplomatic and to really hear people's concerns. I would also appreciate your prayers for the ability to lead as this is something that I have been learning over the past few years but is not necessarily a natural ability of mine. Thanks so much for laboring with me in prayer guys, I was remined yesterday of how incredibly important it is while reading the following passage in Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for his Highest" (such a fantastic little book full of God-sized wisdom).

Prayer is the battle; it is a matter of indifference where you are. Whichever way God engineers circumstances, the duty is to pray.....There is nothing thrilling about a labouring man's work, but it is the labouring man who makes the conceptions of the genius possible; and it is the labouring saint who makes the conceptions of his Master possible. You labour at prayer and results happen all the time from His standpoint.

I know that the Lord has honored so much already.

Much love, Chris

A mixture of foie gras and wild boar patte....people like that crap?

2005-10-12T18:44:00.000-05:00

My posts don't always have to be verbose. Hey, say that out loud, it rhymes, sortof.

I am knackered after going out on my first soup run tonite. Volunteers always snatch up the soup run slot but I squeeeeeeezed myself in this week.

Our soup runs are just that, running around town to all the hot-spots with soup....and sandwiches, and tea.

Comic relief of the evening: Riding around in a mini-bus with 6-8 homeless folks belting (seriously, they were belting) out pop tunes that I don't know because I wasn't born yet. Funny stuff.

Goodnight to all and to all a good night, Chris

Check mate or Check, Mate?

2005-10-07T20:55:00.000-05:00

Victory is mine, and it is really really good....

At approximately 9:37 PM on this past Monday, after two and a half hours of combat on the checkered battlefield, I was finally able to utter those game ending words that had been over two weeks in the making.

After being the recipient of hundreds of smug, yet somehow caring, "Check...and, mate" statements made by my South African opponent, it felt good to be able to deliver the phrase myself. This phenomenon has yet to repeat itself though, as we have played many times since Monday with each match ending in the same dialog that had marked the previous two weeks. This post-defeat exchange usually involves me making various noises of frustration which are then followed by Robert's assurance that I am playing better or an exhortation to "protect my pieces".

I am really thankful for mine and Robert's chess matches. Well, that is, in spite of the sleepless nights developing strategy and the detrimental effect that constant failure has had on my self-esteem. Okay, that is a bit of a strech but I am sad to report that I actually have spent multiple nights dreaming about chess. One night I had a dream about a fantastic opening move involving my rooks. But then I forgot.....why is it always the good dreams that you forget?

Our routine of morning matches and after-supper showdowns really has been very good and I am hoping that our friendship will begin to develop outside the chess board.

After weeks of talking, it became official today that Michael will be moving on from the Anton St. house to more private accomodations. In light of the fact that he won't begin recieving his pension until he has turned 60, I actually didn't expect his move to come so soon. Michael will be living in a hostel type setting operated by a local homelessness orgainization (please do not mistake this for the word "Hostile" meaning marked by malevolence). He will have his own room and I believe there are shared common areas like a kitchen and perhaps a living room. While I am excited for Michael, we as a house, (and me as me for that matter) have some reservations about the suitableness of the accomodations. Despite Michael's desire to move away from the community type living that is practiced at Anton St., I think that his time here has been very beneficial for him socially. Although he still does not like groups of people and has a tendancy to isolate himself, house members have noted the immense progress that he has made in his 4 or 5 months in the community. As I had written in a previous post, he does not actually seem too awkward around people or groups, but it is evident that those traits are part of his personality. I am hoping that the progress that he has made in his time here will not be affected by the fact that he will now be able to choose if he wants to see people or not. Please keep Michael in your prayers as he makes this transition.

I am becoming more integrated into the community and have finally reached the point where I am begining to feel comfortable and am able to remember people's names. The name rememberance thing is not a strongpoint of mine and is a big, big milestone. I do not feel as if I have been too incredibly busy since my arrival here, but have been getting involved with doing street outreach, working shifts at the Simon House, and working with some of our outreach services. Truthfully, I have been spending a good amount of time in and around the Anton St. house trying to develop relationships here and getting a feel for how the house does and could run.

The next few weeks will be bringing a lot of change to our house with Michael and Bruce's departures, as well now, as the departure of Steve who is moving to fill an empty bed at the Simon House. It is perhaps this shake up that will allow us to do some restructuring and make room for more residents and, potentially, more workers in the house.

Many apologies for the long time between postings, I had actually been trying to post since my victorious Monday evening but had twice lost the entire post. That can be a quite frustrating thing. Hopefully we will speak soon, but until then, I will sign off with my favorite salutation that I have seen in the UK since the implementation of "Cheers" into my vocabulary.

Afters, Chris

Let them eat cake

2005-09-26T19:32:00.000-05:00

Just thought that I would share this picture of my birthday cake that my housemate Gilly was so sweet to make me. Bruce wouldn't stop opening the oven to see if it was done so it collapsed in the middle. How cool is the "Chip" written in chocolate chips? Pretty cool I thought....and so very tasty for that matter.

Good night to all, Chris

The artist formerly known as Chris

2005-09-25T11:38:00.000-05:00

So in Boston it was "Sully" and in London it did not take long before I obtained the moniker of "Chip". I think that it might stick because about half of my housemates use it interchangibly with Chris. Before long I suspect that the use of "Chip" will obtain critical mass and I will forever be a british french fry.

While I would like to think my new pseudonyme is a reflection of my generally good-natured attitude, in reality, Bruce (my Scottish housemate that dubbed me) just thought that it sounded like a good American Marine name. And as we all know, when you think Marine, you think Chris, er uh, Chip. Semper fi.....

It could be worse though and I actually don't mind because I think it is somewhat a term of endearment. When Bruce asked me if he could call me that, I did make it a point to ask if "Chip" had other conotations that might be less flattering, but he assured me that there were no hidden meanings.

I guess that is a good segue into an introduction of my housemates. On the volunteer side there are three guys and two girls, Steve, Bruce and me share a pretty big room and Isabell and Gilly have their own rooms for now.

Steve is a native of England and has just recently returned to the Community a few months ago after traveling and volunteering for a while and most recently having a real job as an outreach worker with one of London's major homelessness organizations. A few years ago when the Community was still a completely volunteer run organization, he was the community leader so I think that he has a wealth of knowledge and I am looking forward to picking his brain a bit.

Bruce is from Edinburugh, Scotland and has been with the community for almost a year and a half. Unfortunatly, he just recently got a full-time job with the homelessness organization that Steve used to work for so he will be moving on in the next couple of weeks.

Isabell is from Singapore and has been with us since February. She is one of those folks that is just such a kind and gentle person so although her english isn't the best in the world I am sure that she is an incredible asset to the household.

Gilly is from the Isle of Man and started along with me this past Monday. She has been my translator for the past week and has informed me of so many coloquialisms that I can't even recall many of them right now. It is amazing the differences between speaking American and speaking English, but I am catching on.

I have decided that in the interest of confidentiality, and so as to not to compromise the trust of the folks that are living here, I am not going to divulge anything too specific about their circumstances. However, I do want to give ya'll a profile.

There are three homeless guys that are currently living in the house, well, I say guys quite loosely because on of those fellas is a very large Latvian transvestite named Viola. I must admit that I was a bit taken aback when I first met her, um, him....hmmm, well, Viola anyways. Viola doesn't really speak english very good so you really have to listen closely to pick out certain words and reconstruct a sentance that may or may not be what Viola is actually trying to say. It makes me laugh...quite heartily sometimes. Viola plays the piano very well from what I hear (although there is another resident who has discouraged him from doing so, so I have not had to the chance to hear) and dreams of becoming a go-go dancer to finance his sex-change operation.

Ok, so then there is Robert, he hails from South Africa and is quite a strong-minded fella. We hit it off very well though due in large part to my willingness to play chess with him. Although the score currently rests at at about 0-50 in Robert's favor, I am getting much better and soon is the day when victory will be mine.

Michael is the last resident in the house and is originally from Scotland. He tends to enjoy being by himself but is not too incredibly socialy awkward. I really like Michael and we seem to get along pretty well. Unfortunatly, he will probably not be around for too long because in three weeks he will be 60 and become eligible to recieve benefits. These benefits will allow him to get his own flat and he had already voiced his desire to get out of the house as soon as possible. In fact, he left the house for a few days right after I arrived, apparently initiated by a drinking binge. He is back safely for the time being.

Many different personalities but somehow we seem to get along pretty well. I am looking forward to having more homeless residents move in.

Friday marked my one week aniversary in London and to celebrate I decided to get quite ill on Thursday and sleep for 14 hours. Not only did this mean that I was laid up in bed but I also missed my first chance to do a soup run as well as the two big meetings that we have as a community every Friday. It is quite amazing what 2 consecutive days of 10 + hours of sleep can do to restore an immune system though, so by yesterday I was feeling much better. In celebration of my recovery, and because it was my day off, I decided to go hunting around London and get my bearings a bit more. A few other folks that were off went "on the piss" but I decided that in light of the fact that I am really not much of a drinker, I don't have any money, and my stomach was still a bit flip-floppy it would be best to abstain.

Below this entry, you can see a few of the pictures that I took last night in the Victoria section of town. They enlarge when you click on them and some make quite good desktop backgrounds.

On Wednsday night, me and Bruce had gone down to Victoria to do outreach so I though it would also be a good idea to get a feel for how to get around that part of the city, also there are a lot of touristy things to see in a small circumfrence so I thought that it would be time well spent.

I believe that this will be a stopping point for today because I have already spent much too much time writing. The smell of banggers and mash is floating about and I have a special birthday Coca-cola awaiting me downstairs.

As I enter into this first non-training week, please be in prayer that I would be able to integrate quickly into the community, that I would be granted favor with community members, and that I would have wisdom and discernment as I begin to take on responsibility and participate in the regular activies of the community that I mentioned in my previous post. Thanks so much guys!

Grace and peace, Chris

Oh, what a tourist I am

2005-09-25T11:06:00.000-05:00

Piccadilly Circus or Times Square?

I love this shot of a fountain on Trafalgar Square

Another cool fountain on Trafalgar Square

Buckingham Palace seen during a stroll through St. James Park

Big Ben at Night (the buildings to the right are the Houses of Parliment I believe)

A side entrance at Westminster Abbey

Oh, those ubiquitous Underground signs

And so dawns a new day

2005-09-21T03:29:00.000-05:00

Just thought I would share this neat picture that I took from the plane of the sun rising somewhere over Ireland I believe. And a new day dawns indeed...quite fitting I felt.

I have now been on foreign soil for approximately 113 hours. When you measure that in hours it really does seems like quite a little amount doesn't it?

However, if my suspicions are correct, I believe that when you take the airflight speed of a Virgin Atlantic Airbus A340-300 multiplied by the coefficient of friction risen to the power of how many times I have thought about home, hours are actually longer to the east of the Prime Meridian. Hey, but I am not one of those -ologists folk.

So yeah, I miss home very much, but I do so with a healthly dose of desire to be here and the realization that this is good and the Lord is good and His plans are good.

Now that I have that out my system, let's recap shall we...

Got into town last Friday morning at 7 AM and a few other volunteers with the Simon Community picked me up from Heathrow. Though I didn't really sleep on the flight over, I made myself the promise that I would not crash as soon as I found something that resembled a bed. Well, I compromised with myself and decided that a few hours could be a good refresher. This did prove to be true but also allowed me to stay up fairly late on Friday night which in turn allowed me to sleep until 2 in the afternoon on Saturday. It was a glorious thing, but I felt a bit silly. By yesterday, though, I had pretty well shaken off the jetlag so I am on a fairly normal sleep schedule now (well, normal for me anyways).

I had originally thought I would be living in the "Simon House" which is located in North West bourough of London called Harlesden. The Simon House is sort of the flagship project of the Community and houses 9 volunteers and 10 or so homeless residents. This house is more of a short term living facility and is intended for 2 or 3 month stints by homeless residents.

The house that I am living in is in a North East bourough of London called Hackney. Simply called "Anton Street", after the name of the street that it is located on (duh), this project is smaller and currently houses 5 volunteers (me being one of them) and 3 homeless residents. Anton Street is intended to be longer term housing (I suppose somewhat like what we would call transitional housing in the States) and has an 18 month time limit. We actually have capacity for more homeless residents so hopefully there will be some more folks joining us soon. I believe that I will save introductions to my housemates and other community members until a later time, but suffice it to say that they are quite an eclectic crew.

Training started yesterday (or "Induction" as it is called which is funny because you can refer to the process as being induced...alright, anyways) by meeting with the Services Manager (essentially the VP) to get the low down on the Community, background, etc., etc., etc. It was good though, he is such a funny, quirky, Brit, but seems like a great fella and is definitly passionate.

Today I made it over to Simon House for the first time to meet with a couple of folks about certain aspects of our work. One of the guys, Matt, the House Manager (who by the way is one of the only 6 staff members), was really great to meet. I really dig his vision of further developing a theraputic community and he is just seems such a super-super-sharp fella. I am definitly looking forward to getting to know him better. The rest of the day consisted of meeting with the volunteers that have assumed certain coordination responsibilities of our key services to learn how they operate. I will definitly have my hands in a lot of different pots, but the general break down of our services is as follows:

Tea-Runs - preparing and handing out sandwiches and tea, very, very early on Sunday and Monday mornings
Soup-Runs - preparing and handing out sandwiches, soup, and tea on Wednsdays and Thursday evenings
Street Cafe - essentially we use the beautifal garden of a church downtown to operate a spot on Monday and Wednsdays where folks can come and have tea and read newspapers or talk
Street Work - every night of the week groups go out to meet folks who are living on the streets and build relationships
Drop-in Center - our main office operates as an informal drop-in center during operating hours where folks can drop in and use laundry and shower facilities, computers, etc. (I will probably assume the coordination of this as part of my responsibilities)
Operation of the Houses - day to day operation of the houses (shopping, cleaning, supporting the residents, etc.)

I believe that I have way over simplified a lot of this stuff but I just wanted to give a general impression of what our work looks like.

So there you have it, all the boring background stuff. I promise though that I will try to make my prose much less dry in the future. Oh also, I would love for you all to post replys on my blog too. It would be cool to get a kind of trans-Atlantic dialouge going on.

Grace and peace, Chris

I'm leavin' on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again....

2005-09-15T04:51:00.000-05:00

Less than 24 hours from now I should be decending upon the grand metropolis of London, UK to begin the next journey in my seemingly neverending transience....

There has been months of build up to this day (and the 6 months to 1 year that will follow) but I am not sure how well the reality of it has actually sunk in. I did have a fleeting thought earlier this evening along the lines of, "wow, this is the last time I am going to be on American soil for a while", but it was just fleeting.

Much packing has yet to be done, but in my characteristic procrastination I rationalize this with the fact that I don't need to leave for the airport until 2 tomorow afternoon. That should leave plenty of time to finish last minute preparations. No doubt I will sleep hours later than I intend and in my rush to reclaim that lost time will forget things that I wanted to bring.

I have already done all the goodbye stuff with buds and budessess in Boston and elsewhere across the United States. Tommorow will be the family goodbyes which promise to contain enough mother tears to soak the collar of whatever shirt I may be wearing.

So these are my thoughts on the eve of departure. Nothing special. Ready to go. Wanting to stay. There really is no inbetween ground there, huh?

...and I'm off, Chris